The CRuPru Happy Hour!
by HariSan712
Summary: What happens when an insane otaku has her own talk show with two of the most controverssial Hetalia characters? WARNING: Story has insane conversations that happen when she has writer's block. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!


**Author's Note: Hello! Well, this is just something I came up on the fly! Haha, I have writer's block, so please forgive me if 'Notice Me' isn't updated as fast as you would like! -_-; So, please, make do with my ramblings! This is '*THE CRUPRU HAPPY HOUR*' Hold your applause! Haha, thank you, and as always, enjoy! Oh! And one more note. RUSSIA AND PRUSSIA ARE MINE! Back off crazy fangirls!**

Hari: Ohayo! Welcome to the first segment of 'The CRUPRU Happy Hour'! I am your hostess, Crystal! Joining me today are Russia and Prussia!

Russia: Ah, Crystal. It is good to see you again, da!

Prussia: Oi! What about Gilbird? Doesn't he get some attention?

Crystal: Yeah yeah, fine. And our mascot for the month, is the adorable, yellow Gilbird!

Gilbird: ~cheep!~

Audience: AWWWWWWW!

Crystal: What the Hell? Where did the audience come from?

Audience: *points to Russia*

Crystal: Russia-sama? What did you do?

Russia: All I said was that it would be very much appreciated if they came to view the show. Kolkolkolkol...

Crystal: o_o; I think that counts as a threat to their lives. Anyways, on to today's topic!

Prussia: Is it the naked pictures of Hungary that we took? KESESESESE!

*Random frying pan appears and hits Prussia upside the head*

Crystal: O3O Ooooookay... Um, on to the next subject! Russia, will you do the honors?

Russia: Of course. Our first guest comes from the mind of miss Crystal, Yatsumi Inuzuma!

*Disheveled Yatsumi appears while eating pocky*

Yatsumi: What the-?

Crystal: Kyaa! Welcome brainchild! *Glomps Yatsumi*

Yatsumi: Ahh c'mon! Did ya really have to put me on this crap show?

Crystal: B-but... ~sniffle~

*Russia appears with pipe*

Russia: You were saying? Kolkolkolkol...

Yatsumi: O_O; I mean, I'm happy to be here Creator...

Crystal: Yay! ^3^ This won't take long. So first off, mind telling us where you came from?

Yatsumi: Outta all the-!

*Russia with pipe appears behind Crystal*

Yatsumi: Um... I came outta your mind. For some reason or another, you expect me to be together with that damn Kasanoda...

Crystal: But Ritsu needs love!

Yatsumi: AND WHY DO I HAVE TA BE THE ONE TO GIVE IT TO HIM?

Crystal: T3T Cuz I can't, thats why.

Yatsumi: Grr, whatever. Next question!

Crystal: Man, you're cranky. So, tell us, whos your favorite host?

Yatsumi: I don't have one.

Crystal: Really? So, no interest in twincest?

Yatsumi: TxT; Nope. Thats part of your personality.

Crystal: Uh-huh. And exactly what part of my personality did you originate from?

Yatsumi: ... I'm that part of your personality that you keep locked in. And just for the record, you got some really pent up anger. I suggest you take care of that.

Crystal: Hmm? But without that anger, I wouldn't be able to write your scenes! Not to mention... *Demon Lord Mode* Its a great way to destroy those who oppose me.

Yatsumi: D:

Russia: ^J^

Prussia: *Still knocked out*

Crystal: *Returns to normal* So, thats about it from you. I'll see you later.

Yatsumi. O_O Y-yes m'am... *poofs away*

Russia: Crystal, have you ever thought of joining the Russian army? We could really use your... abilities, da?

Crystal: No thanks Russia-sama! But I will visit you one day! Have a sunflower!

Russia: *Blush* You always know my favorite things.

Audience: AWWWWWWWWW!

Crystal: Grrr, they're still here...

Audience: MORE FLUFF!

Crystal: *Demon Lord Mode* Do I gotta get out my arsenal? Kyeheheheheh...

Audience: o_o; N-nooo...

Crystal: ^-^ Good! Now, seeing as Prussia-san is still passed out, Russia-sama, you'll have to present the next guest.

Russia: I understand. *Looks at paper, then back up at Crystal* Actually, dorogaya moya, would you mind if you present the next guest and I interview him?

Crystal: Of course you can. Well then, can we please welcome, the hamburger loving 'Hero', AMERICA!

*America walks in waving a huge American flag*

Audience: Whooooooo!

Crystal: -_-; You really go all out, eh America?

America: Of course! Because as the Hero of the World, I have to do things a billion times better than most. So, are we starting this interview or what?

Crystal: Yep, but I won't be the interviewer this time.

America: ? Then who is?

*Russia sneaks behind America and pats his shoulder*

Russia: I will be doing the honor, da?

America: *Jumps up* Ahh! A ghost!

Crystal and Audience: T_T

Russia: ^J^ Now now, do not be worrying Comrade! I won't be hurting you if you just answer all the questions.

America: Ah dude, Russia! I totally knew it was you!

Crystal: Suuuure...

Russia: Then, let us get started.

*Two big chairs magically appear for the both to sit in*

America: Bring on the questions Russia! I can handle whatever you dish out!

Russia: Mmmm, I don't think you really can. But alright, first question, what is going on between you and England?

Crystal and Audience: Kyaaaaaaa! *Nosebleed*

America: Haha... Wh-What? O.O

Russia: *looks up innocently* I asked, what is going on. Between you and England?

America: *Flails arms* Why ask a question like that? Th-Theres nothing going on between me and Iggy!

Russia: *Evil Aura* Really? Then why is it I've found fanfictions of you both, as well as doujinshii of some naughty things you guys have done?

America: But-But!

Russia: *Gets up and stalks towards America* Is it possible, you've forgotten all those passionate nights we've had, zaychik moy?

America: *Looks up at Russia, passes out, and is picked up by Tony in his spaceship*

Crystal: AHHH! Russia-sama! We have to try to keep this rated T! Please, try not to forget that!

Russia: I'm sorry. I just wanted to tease him a bit.

Crystal: So umm, *cough* do you have any, uh... Pictures of you and America?

Russia: I can send you a video if you'd like. ^J^

Crystal: Yaaay! Thank you! I love you Russia-sama!

Prussia: *wakes up* Did I miss anything?

Crystal: Prussia-san! Did you know you're my second fave Hetalia character?

Prussia: O-of course! The awesome me knows all- HEY! WHY AM I SECOND?

Crystal: *Hugs Russia* Cuz this big guy is mah forever favorite!

Russia: *Smiles at Prussia* Yes, I am always first. And never forget it... *Evil aura emminating from him*

Prussia: TT_TT At least Gilbird is still with me...

*Gilbird lands on Crystal's head*

Pruss: EHHHH! Et tu Gilbird?

Gilbird: ~Manly cheep~

Crystal and Prussia: o.O

Russia: ^J^ So thats what happens when you give a bird vodka!

Prussia: RUSSIA! YOU BAKA!

Russia: Excuse me? KOLKOLKOLKOL!

Crystal: And this is where we end. *blood curdling scream heard in background* Join us next time I get writer's block! This is Crystal!

Russia: *Blood stained* I am Russia!

Prussia: *Half-dead* The awesome Prussia...

All: AND THIS HAS BEEN 'THE CRUPRU HAPPY HOUR'!

Translations

Dorogoya Moya: My Dear

Zaychik Moy: My bunny


End file.
